My birthday was on March 15th, so just a few short days ago. I’ve been reflecting over the last few days! I wanted to post this post earlier, but you know – LIFE!
Every year for the past few years, when my birthday rolls around, I love taking the time to reflect on what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown, and the experiences that have shaped me over the past year. Last year, I made a TikTok about 22 things I had learned in my 22 years of life, and looking back, so many of those lessons still ring true.
I’ve also realized that growth is constant, and every year brings new experiences, new perspectives, and new realizations about life. This year, I thought it would be fun to share the 23 things I’ve learned through a blog post.
So here I am, freshly 23 years old, sharing 23 things I’ve learned – some old, some new, but all valuable lessons that have helped me become the person I am today.
1. Life is not a race.
When I was younger, I thought I had to hit certain milestones by a certain age—graduate high school or college by this age, buy a house by that age, get married by this age, and be wildly successful by 25. But the truth is, everyone is on their own timeline. Some people get married at 22, some at 35. Some find their dream job at 25, some at 50. None of it is right or wrong; it’s just your journey. Comparing your timeline to someone else’s is a surefire way to feel like you’re failing—when you’re not!
Which leads me to…
2. Comparison is the thief of joy.
We all do it—scroll through social media and think, “Wow, they have it all together,” or “Why am I not doing that?” But when you compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Your journey is valid, and just because someone else is succeeding doesn’t mean you’re failing.
3. It’s okay to say no.
For a long time, I was a people-pleaser (and, if we’re being honest, I still am to some extent—something I’m working on!). I used to say yes to things I didn’t want to do because I felt guilty saying no. But setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Protecting your time and energy is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself, and saying no is just as important as saying yes. Your peace matters.
4. Life is all about balance.
You don’t have to be all work or all play. You can hustle and still take breaks. You can be ambitious and still have fun. Balance—whether in work, relationships, or health—is key to avoiding burnout.
5. Perfection does not exist.
For so long, I thought I had to be perfect to be successful, liked, or worthy. But perfection is an illusion. No one has it all figured out, and trying to be perfect will only leave you exhausted. Aim for progress, not perfection.
6. Someone else’s win is not your loss.
It’s easy to feel like other people’s successes somehow take away from our own, but life isn’t a competition. Just because someone else gets an opportunity doesn’t mean you won’t get yours. Celebrate others and trust that your time will come.
7. Being alone is not as scary as you think.
I used to think being alone meant being lonely. I constantly surrounded myself with people because I feared solitude. But I’ve learned that spending time alone can be powerful. It helps you grow, reflect, and truly understand who you are.
8. Gratitude changes everything.
It’s easy to focus on what’s missing in life, but shifting your mindset to gratitude can change everything. Even on bad days, there’s always something to be thankful for—your health, your home, your support system.
A simple mindset shift I try to implement: Instead of saying “I have to,” say “I get to.” It’s a reminder to be grateful for the things we get to do!
9. Time moves fast—embrace the beautiful moments.
Life flies by, and we often get so caught up in what’s next that we forget to appreciate the present. Whether it’s a fun night with friends or a quiet moment alone, savor those moments. They’re the ones you’ll look back on and cherish.
10. Growth is uncomfortable but necessary.
Real growth happens outside of your comfort zone. The moments that challenge you, stretch you, and push you are the ones that shape you the most. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s always worth it.
11. Not everyone has the same morals or heart as you.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that not everyone operates the way you do. Some people won’t have your best intentions at heart, and that’s just a fact of life. Protect your energy, and surround yourself with people who truly value you.
12. Let go of toxic relationships.
This one is tough but necessary. Holding onto people who drain you, disrespect you, or bring negativity into your life isn’t worth it. Letting go isn’t easy, but your peace is more important than keeping someone around out of habit.
13. Patience is everything.
Things don’t always happen on your timeline, but that doesn’t mean they won’t happen. Whether it’s career goals, relationships, or personal growth, patience is key.
14. You don’t have to have your life figured out by 23.
Or 25. Or 30. No one really has it all figured out, and that’s okay. Life is a journey, not a checklist.
15. Be kind to yourself.
You would never talk to a friend the way you sometimes talk to yourself. So why do we do it? Learning to be gentle with yourself is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. Self-compassion is just as important as being kind to others.
16. Your body deserves nourishment.
There is nothing wrong with eating three meals a day. You’re supposed to! Your body needs food to function, and depriving yourself or feeling guilty about eating only makes things worse. Food is fuel, not the enemy.
17. Self-improvement is for you, not others.
Bettering yourself should be for you, not to impress anyone else. Personal growth isn’t about meeting someone else’s standards—it’s about becoming the best version of yourself.
18. Saying “I love you” often matters.
Life is unpredictable. Never hold back from telling the people in your life that you love them.
19. Work to live, don’t live to work.
Having four jobs right now is necessary for me until I start making money in real estate (which is OKAY!). But that being said, work should support your life, not consume it.
20. You don’t have to follow the crowd.
Society often tells us what we “should” do—what career to pursue, what milestones to hit, what to believe. But you don’t have to follow the crowd. Make your own rules and live life on your terms.
21. Success is personal.
Success looks different for everyone. Define it for yourself, rather than letting society’s definition dictate your goals.
22. Don’t get so caught up in life that you forget the small things.
The little things—like a morning coffee or a long chat with a friend—are what make life meaningful.
23. I still don’t know everything.
And that’s okay! Learning is a lifelong journey, and I hope I’m still growing for years to come.
These are just some of the lessons I’ve learned in my 23 years on this Earth. I know there are so many more lessons to come and I am eager to see what comes my way throughout the years and how I grow. Life is a constant process of learning, unlearning, and growing! I’d love to hear – one or a few of the biggest lessons that you have learned in your life! Please share in the comments below! 🙂